Dear White Collar …

Stop trying to get Tiffani Thiessen involved.

Nothing against her, but the coincidences required to loop her into every episode make those segments feel like a soap opera. The kidnapping story in “Shoot the Moon” was particularly ridiculous. She just conveniently puts her catering skills to use while she’s a hostage?

Stop it. That’s dumb.

You should have made her an FBI agent if you were going to use her so much.

Thanks you for your prompt attention to this important matter.

Notable things: No more memoirs; the strange connection between Scarlett Johansson and young Christopher Walken; sequels that need to happen

Here’s an excellent piece by Hamilton Nolan that smacks sense into would-be memoir “journalists”:

The extent to which we train a generation of young writers to become robotic insta-memoirists is the extent to which a generation of stories from the wider world does not get told. The real tragedy of journalism-as-narcissism is not the general pettiness of the stories it produces; it is the other, better stories that never get produced as a result.

Here’s the scenario:

You see a post on BuzzFeed titled “Young Christopher Walken Looks Exactly Like Scarlett Johansson.”

“Surely, that can’t be true,” you think.


Picture of Scarlett. Okay, got it.

Picture of young Christoph … holy hinges!

See for yourself.

This is the kind of pop culture discussion I live for: “What movie deserves a sequel that never got made?

The comment thread is great: “Léon: The Professional,” “Big Trouble in Little China,” “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and on and on.

One person suggested “Serenity.” I adore “Serenity” and a sequel would be just so very very lovely.

I’d also like to see a follow-up to “Cloverfield” (it might actually happen). Sequels try to be bigger and louder, and that’s exactly what “Cloverfield 2” should go for. I love the idea of taking the pinhole view from the first movie and expanding it into a massive monster flick with the second film.