Similar to Dalai Lama

I followed @DalaiLama on Twitter because I wanted to inject perspective into my tweet stream (and yes, I’m one of those naive people who thinks “perspective” and “Twitter” can somehow coexist).

Twitter noticed my action and fired up its recommendation algorithm. Today the service sent me a list of “suggestions similar to Dalai Lama.”

Let’s assess.

No. 1: Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah)

Oprah Twitter Recommendation

The Dalai Lama would never put himself on the cover of every issue of his own magazine, but fine. I can live with this (though @OfficialStedman or @GayleKing would have been better choices). At this point the algorithm has arrived at the party and is mingling appropriately.

No. 2: Penn Jillette (@pennjillette)

Penn Jillette Twitter recommendation

Does the Dalai Lama do magic? Does he have a mute sidekick? Maybe the Lama is big in Vegas. The algorithm is tipsy.

No. 3: Funny or Die (@funnyordie)

Funny or Die Twitter recommendation

I’m sure the Dalai Lama found “The Landlord” uproarious, but this is a reach. The algorithm is buzzed.

No. 4: Justin Bieber (@justinbieber)

Justin Bieber Twitter recommendation

Go home algorithm. You’re embarrassing yourself.

No. 5. Christina Applegate (@1capplegate)

Christina Applegate Twitter recommendation

She seems lovely, but c’mon now. The algorithm is now vomiting up verified profiles and hoping they’re related.

Conclusion: Twitter, take me off your list.